I love a good coffee date with a great friend, and when that great friend is Dateologist Tracey Steinberg, the coffee date is destined to be a great one! Midway through our time together, Tracey asked how my dating life has been going. I filled her in on a situation that is straight out of her incredible book, Flirt for Fun & Meet the One- Dating Secrets from the Dateologist.
In Tracey’s book and in her Flirting Parties, she suggests that when in a social scenario and you want to meet new people, using the environment to find a topic for conversation is a great way to approach someone you’re interested in meeting. I explained to Tracey that I inadvertently changed the environment of a social setting by doing something as simple as taking my glasses off. Within minutes, a cute guy approached saying, “You took your glasses off!”, starting a conversation that ended with a request for a date. Tracey asked me to take my glasses off, and stared at me. She then asked me to put them back on, and to take them off again. My dear friend and very smart Dateologist suggested I try ditching the spectacles the next time I go out. Tracey suggested I shake up my look and let the men of Manhattan see my eyes, not see a pair of Ray Ban bifocals.
Tracey has never led me astray, so that is exactly what I promised to do- glasses off and in the pocket on my next excursion. And that’s what came to pass three days later. I specifically wore a button-down with a left breast pocket that would accommodate my spectacles. I was easily able to see people, but did run into a bit of squinting when discerning a twenty from a ten when purchasing my first Heineken. As I walked around the bar, I noticed that I was getting a lot of looks. I smiled at a few of the guys, and the next thing I knew one was talking to me, followed by another. Others walked by, and definitely checked me out.
Seems Tracey was right- men make passes at men who don’t wear glasses!
At a moment when I was alone, I noticed a man that was incredibly handsome. He was an interesting combination of the dangerous bad boy edge of Jack Nicholson with the debonair look of Robert Wagner circa Heart to Heart. Anyone who knows me well knows that combination is definitely a flavor that holds my interest. A man who was talking with my bad boy dreamboat motioned me over to ask my opinion on a topic, and that’s how I met Max. Within a short amount of time, Max and I pulled away from the conversation and focused on just us. Lots in common, lots of laughs, and three hours later we made plans to meet for dinner the next week.
Tracey was right- taking off my glasses helped others to see me. We’ll see what happens with Max, but I believe he has 1FineD8 potential. If we brought it to a vote, I believe the “eyes” would have it no other way!
Applying Tracey Steinberg’s feedback proved to be a very smart move on my part. Not everyone gets to have coffee with this groovy and smart Dateologist, so I highly suggest visiting www.TraceySteinburg.com to learn more about her. I also suggest getting her book, Flirt for Fun & Meet the One- Dating Secrets from the Dateologist. It’s available on Amazon.com, and can be found at: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1497512786/ref=olp_product_details?ie=UTF8&me
Sometimes you need to change up your look to attract a potential 1FineD8. I love my glasses like I love my coffee, black and bold, but sometimes people take their coffee differently. Sometimes they don’t even like coffee (which for me is so hard to believe!). Like Starbucks, changing the focus of the menu, sometimes featuring the pumpkin bread instead of the dark drip, helps the “consumer” see the many facets of your brand. One of the first things Max said to me was that he thought my eyes were amazing. I sincerely don’t believe that Max saying that to me sans spectacles was a sign of him being shallow- he would have said the same thing to me if the glasses were out of my pocket and resting comfortably on the bridge of my nose.
When you plan to go out with friends or by yourself to cultivate a prospective 1FineD8, switch up your look once in a while. It’s difficult to explain, but doing this will also flip a switch in your mind, and your carriage will improve and your mindset might actually be more confident. Both were proven true for me in this experiment. If you’re a pants gal, try a cute skirt with killer boots. Guys might want to consider khakis and loafers as opposed to denim and sneakers. And for all of us four-eyed daters, consider taking those glasses off. You might just have the best night ever- one that’s mind blowing to the Max!