Monthly Archives: January 2015

1FineVideo- When to Ask for a Second Date

We’ve all been there… we have a 1FineD8, and we aren’t sure of the proper time frame to ask for the second date. If you’ve wondered when to ask for that second date, you need to watch this video! Dateologist Tracey Steinberg and I tackle this question on this installment of Ready… Set… DATE!

Who’s advice works best for you… Tracey’s or mine! Let us know and please share your experience!

For more information on Dateologist Tracey Steinberg, please visit http://www.traceysteinberg.com!

Be sure to follow me on Twitter! @CraigRogersNYC

Advertisements

D8 with a Vanilla Scone

In the immortal almost words of Ke$ha, “It’s going down… I’m now on Tinder!”

I’m no stranger to online dating, and like most I’m no stranger to the potential disappointment that online sourcing of dates may bring. From JDate to Match.com, online dating is a pretty acceptable way to put you out there. When I mentioned Tinder to friends, their reaction was very different to my other online efforts. The general consensus is that Tinder is just a hook-up site. I believe that ANY online dating site can be a hook-up site… if that’s what you’re seeking. My approach to Tinder is the same as my approach on other sites- to find quality people to date.

The bottom line to Tinder or any other online relationship-sourcing site is that although it’s a tool to get into the game, the playing field is an actual date.

One of my Tinder matches was Gerald. His profile pictures were great, and the texting was, in the exact words of my pal Dateologist Tracey Steinberg, “fun and flirty”. We decided to get together after the holidays, seeing that both of us were pretty busy. The Saturday after the New Year was the perfect time to meet for a coffee.

When Gerald arrived, I was very pleased that his profile pictures were obviously current. He was a great looking man with a very nice smile. As we waited in line, Gerald and I inspected the baked goods in the Starbuck’s case.

“Anything look good to you?” I asked.
“I always go for the vanilla scone,” he responded.
“Never tried that before. I’m eying the chocolate covered graham crackers.”
“You should give the vanilla scone a try.”

I ordered the vanilla scone and my usual Venti bold, and we grabbed a table. As we started our conversation, I couldn’t help but notice that Gerald seemed to be a bit reserved. Friendly yes, but definitely on the quiet side. As the conversation continued, I realized that Gerald was extremely introverted. Being introverted is fine, but it’s sort of like a magnifying glass that makes my own extroversion seem even bigger.

As I ate my vanilla scone, I thought that maybe Gerald had a case of the first date nerves. As a potential antidote, I started asking him questions about what he likes to do in his spare time.

Typically, when talking about pets or hobbies or other things that jazz you results in letting go of the conversational trepidation, removing the barrier potentially caused by first date nerves.

The result? It worked. Gerald told me about making smoothies with kale, puppy sitting for a friend, and that he enjoys meditational retreats. The thing that scared me was that his vocal inflection never raised, nor did his level of enthusiasm. Gerald was flatter than a Flat Stanley. Perhaps he thought our date was a meditational retreat is what I thought to myself as I polished off my vanilla scone. Eating the scone kept me awake during an exchange that was dryer than the Sahara.

Ke$ha’s lyric of “One more shot, another round. End of the night, it’s going down” didn’t apply to my date with Gerald. I didn’t want a refill of coffee, and I had my fill of vanilla. The scone was actually tasty, but it didn’t have the melt in your mouth chocolate savor of the graham crackers. Nothing was going down with Gerald. As I said goodbye to him, I thought to myself that my dating life is really no different than my hunger for sweets. I crave something with a bit more of a punch.

Vanilla

1Gr8Lesson

Regardless of your choice of “service provider”, online dating has some pitfalls. As you begin communicating with someone via text, you may feel a connection with the person. However you need to ask yourself… is the connection real?

If you are feeling the groove with an online match, take the communication from texting online to getting on line for a coffee at Starbucks.

The dialogue you share via texting is a great start, however nothing beats a face-to-face meeting. An actual date will allow you to add not only their voice to their words, but also their expressions and level of enthusiasm. You’ll be able to experience your date’s laugh, and the sparkle in their eyes.

Or perhaps not… as in my date with the Vanilla Scone. That’s why it’s important to take if off the computer screen to into a first date venue sooner than later. Don’t lose site of the mission- it’s about making a connection on a date, not on your screen.

D8 with a Glue Stick

Ever have a date that doesn’t say a word, but in the “big picture” says SO much?

I was fortunate to spend some time with Fourth-Generation Psychic Medium and Author Linda Lauren, and she taught me how to make a Relationship Collage. Having experienced a First Grade art class, I know how to make a collage.

The collage that Linda showed me how to make has a greater purpose.

As we participate in the process of dating, we have ideas, hopes and expectations as to the characteristics of our dream date that morphs into a dream relationship. We think about the type of person with which we wish to build a relationship. The purpose of a Relationship Collage is to take those thoughts and ideas and manifest those intentions into a visual. By doing so, we are also placing positive influence on The Law of Attraction, which Linda explains in the video.

As you watch, please remember that the contents of your collage are all up to you. It all depends on the intentions you want to put out there. If you take a close look at mine you’ll see my intentions, such as pictures about cooking and travel and words like “very smart”. You’ll also see some pictures where you might not understand my intention- and that’s ok… it’s my Relationship Collage. An example of this would be a picture of furniture that looks almost identical to my dining room set. This symbolizes my intention of finding someone that has the desire to build a home with me. The possibilities are endless for your Relationship Collage; just remember to include the year and a picture of yourself- Linda explains why in the video.

I hope you decide to grab a pair of scissors, some magazines and a glue stick. If you give this idea a go, you’ll see how making a Relationship Collage really helps you visualize the qualities you want in a new partner. Making a Relationship Collage really helped me to fine tune my intentions. And the BEST part is that you can always add more pictures later as you discover new intentions that are important to you.

Enjoy the video, and grab that glue stick!

To learn more about Linda Lauren, please visit http://www.lindalauren.com and check out her latest novel, Sentimental Journey!

And be sure to like the 1FineD8 page on Facebook! https://www.facebook.com/1FineD8

1FineVideo- Is Your Date Rude to Others?

Have you found yourself in the situation where your date is not so nice to others? Maybe it’s to a store clerk, or a waiter… or perhaps your friend. If your answer is “yes”, you need to watch this video! Dateologist Tracey Steinberg and I tackle this question on this installment of Ready… Set… DATE!

Have you been in this situation? How did you handle it and what happened? Please share your experience!

For more information on Dateologist Tracey Steinberg, please visit http://www.traceysteinberg.com!

1FineVideo- Is Your Date Generous to Others?

Is your date interested in giving back to the community? Do they like to join you when participating in volunteer activities? If the answer is “no”, and giving back is important to you, you need to watch this video! Dateologist Tracey Steinberg and I tackle this question on this installment of Ready… Set… DATE!

Have you been in this situation? How did you handle it and what happened? Please share your experience!

For more information on Dateologist Tracey Steinberg, please visit http://www.traceysteinberg.com!