Category Archives: #datingvideo

D8 with the Man without a Face

Photos play an integral part in online dating success, and the photo of “Ed” left a lot to be desired. I could see a camel, a lot of sand and a little spot of a man riding the camel. It was the only picture “Ed” posted in his very well written profile. Because of his ability with words, I decided I would respond to his email.

“Ed” was a good conversationalist in the online chat, however he seemed to be very guarded and rather nervous. My experience told me that when a man exhibits extreme cautious communication, he’s most likely in a relationship and looking for some side action. “Ed” swore he was single; his challenge is that he is deeply closeted. His guard was up stronger than the Royal Guard on point at Buckingham Palace. In spite of holding his cards closely, I learned that we did have some things in common and he was within the age range of my dating pool.

Is the fact that “Ed” was so deeply in the closet a reason not to go on a date with him?

I agreed to meet him for a drink at the rooftop at the Peninsula, one of my favorite hotel bars in Manhattan. The spot of a man riding a camel turned out to be quite dashing, complete with a winning, welcoming smile. The conversation with “Ed” was very pedestrian- travel, food, and Manhattan neighborhoods. Nothing too deep, until I decided to grab my trusty shovel.

“So “Ed”, you seem to be rather guarded. Witness protection, huh?”

“Oh no… I’m just not out. Nobody knows I’m gay,” he responded with a nervous chuckle.

“You might be surprised. Good looking single man in his 50s can set off the “bet he’s gay” alarm”, I responded. “Besides, it really doesn’t matter because you’re on a gay dating site and it’s 2016 so there’s really no reason to be fearful.”

“I disagree. People think I’m straight, and I like that.”

“I see. And you like that. Is your name really “Ed”?”

He didn’t answer, which I believe was an answer. “Ed” didn’t budge in his resolve; he set up residency in his closet and he wasn’t coming out for me or for anyone.

an illustration of a faceless man in a business suit
Putting your best face forward on a date means allowing your date to see you both inside and out.

I FineLesson

As we wrap up Pride Month, it makes me sad that there are some gay people out there that still can’t publicly own the fact that they’re gay. It makes me sad to acknowledge that there are some people- regardless of sexual orientation- that aren’t fully embracing the magic that is them. It just makes me sad that people don’t embrace their own personal truth, whatever that truth may be.

If we can’t love ourselves, how can we fully expect to find someone to love us?

I know I’m sounding a little like RuPaul, but it’s a message that needs constant repeating. When beginning your journey in the dating scene, you need to do so with a full arsenal. By that, daters need to enter the arena knowing with certainty that they’re already in love with themselves. Daters need to embrace every facet of themselves, from their looks to their career. Self-love leads to confidence, and confidence is key.

Dating is really no different than selling. You’ve got to believe in the product that is you, or you’re going to remain on the shelf.

“Ed” obviously doesn’t fully believe in his product. He doesn’t accept himself on a basic level, and with that he will likely remain alone on the long term. Unless he finds someone identical in mindset, I believe he will likely remain single.

My hope is that all daters believe in the product that is them. Believe it so much that you deeply want to shout it from a rooftop. Trust me, it may take some time, but the perfect customer will hear.

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D8 with the Man Who Slew too Much

One of the features Tinder provides users is the tie-in to Facebook. When you match with someone, you can review mutual friends and get the 411 from them about your potential date. This is exactly what I did prior to my date with Edgar.

The general consensus from our four mutual friends was that I should go out with him, however it didn’t go unnoticed that their level of enthusiasm wasn’t exactly high. In spite of that, I agreed to meet Edgar for a drink.

He arrived before me, and grabbed us a great table. Edgar was a good-looking man with a very welcoming smile. Our conversation got off to a great start; we discussed current events, hobbies, and a mutual love of antiquing. We ordered a second drink, and continued to have a really great time… until he mentioned our mutual Facebook friends as outed by Tinder. His descriptions of our mutual friends kind of took me by surprise. I was given a chorus of negativity, including the following lyrics:

“Oh yeah, I know them. They run in a fast crowd, do drugs and are rather slutty.”
“He’s an idiot. Seriously, a fucking idiot.”
“Like that one has a personality? Please!”

If Edgar described his “friends” in this manner, I couldn’t imagine how he described his enemies. Unfortunately, I soon found out.

“If you know (this one) then you must know (that one)” was the next conversation Edgar initiated. Each time I answered with a yes, he explained how this person or that person was a loser. In less than 30 minutes, Edgar managed to verbally slay about every mutual contact we shared.

We’ve all had red flags on a date, but this red flag was waiving bigger and brighter than anything Betsy Ross could imagine.

As the red flag waived proudly in the Westfield, New Jersey sky, Edgar continued his verbal assassination of more friends:

“That one comes from a real messed up family”
“That bitch hasn’t worked in years!”
“I thought about dating him, but I don’t want to catch something.”

At that point, I officially caught something… an airborne disease of disgust with Edgar as the Ground Zero source. I didn’t need the help of a doctor to cure this malaise, for the antidote was simple and easily administered to any self-respecting Leo…

“Well Edgar, (this one) is actually quite smart, (that one) is one of the most charming people I know, and as for (those two), if they choose to have an open relationship and enjoy a little weed once in a while it’s their business just as it’s my business not to judge it nor participate in it. And for the record, Edgar, (that one’s) family is a pretty groovy one, and her aunt and my cousin’s father-in-law have a business history of successful collaboration.”

Edgar just stared at me, and for the first time on our date was at a total loss for words. As we said our brief goodbye, I wondered what words of venom Edgar would use to describe me… and I just didn’t care. No matter what, I would be in good company with my Facebook friends as opposed to my not-so-fine date.

And as for Tinder, I’m thinking the less shared Facebook friends the better!

Don't let words be the weapons that sabotage your first date!
Don’t let words be the weapons that sabotage your first date!

Continue reading D8 with the Man Who Slew too Much

1FineVideo- Dating Someone Overweight

The question for today is a heavy subject… what to do if you think your 1FineD8 needs to lose a few pounds? If you’ve have a problem with your date’s weight, you need to watch this video! Dateologist Tracey Steinberg and I tackle this question on this installment of Ready… Set… DATE!

Have you found yourself in this situation? Let us know and please share your experience!

For more information on Dateologist Tracey Steinberg, please visit http://www.traceysteinberg.com!

Be sure to follow me on Twitter! @CraigRogersNYC

1FineVideo- When to Ask for a Second Date

We’ve all been there… we have a 1FineD8, and we aren’t sure of the proper time frame to ask for the second date. If you’ve wondered when to ask for that second date, you need to watch this video! Dateologist Tracey Steinberg and I tackle this question on this installment of Ready… Set… DATE!

Who’s advice works best for you… Tracey’s or mine! Let us know and please share your experience!

For more information on Dateologist Tracey Steinberg, please visit http://www.traceysteinberg.com!

Be sure to follow me on Twitter! @CraigRogersNYC

D8 with a Glue Stick

Ever have a date that doesn’t say a word, but in the “big picture” says SO much?

I was fortunate to spend some time with Fourth-Generation Psychic Medium and Author Linda Lauren, and she taught me how to make a Relationship Collage. Having experienced a First Grade art class, I know how to make a collage.

The collage that Linda showed me how to make has a greater purpose.

As we participate in the process of dating, we have ideas, hopes and expectations as to the characteristics of our dream date that morphs into a dream relationship. We think about the type of person with which we wish to build a relationship. The purpose of a Relationship Collage is to take those thoughts and ideas and manifest those intentions into a visual. By doing so, we are also placing positive influence on The Law of Attraction, which Linda explains in the video.

As you watch, please remember that the contents of your collage are all up to you. It all depends on the intentions you want to put out there. If you take a close look at mine you’ll see my intentions, such as pictures about cooking and travel and words like “very smart”. You’ll also see some pictures where you might not understand my intention- and that’s ok… it’s my Relationship Collage. An example of this would be a picture of furniture that looks almost identical to my dining room set. This symbolizes my intention of finding someone that has the desire to build a home with me. The possibilities are endless for your Relationship Collage; just remember to include the year and a picture of yourself- Linda explains why in the video.

I hope you decide to grab a pair of scissors, some magazines and a glue stick. If you give this idea a go, you’ll see how making a Relationship Collage really helps you visualize the qualities you want in a new partner. Making a Relationship Collage really helped me to fine tune my intentions. And the BEST part is that you can always add more pictures later as you discover new intentions that are important to you.

Enjoy the video, and grab that glue stick!

To learn more about Linda Lauren, please visit http://www.lindalauren.com and check out her latest novel, Sentimental Journey!

And be sure to like the 1FineD8 page on Facebook! https://www.facebook.com/1FineD8

1FineVideo- Is Your Date Rude to Others?

Have you found yourself in the situation where your date is not so nice to others? Maybe it’s to a store clerk, or a waiter… or perhaps your friend. If your answer is “yes”, you need to watch this video! Dateologist Tracey Steinberg and I tackle this question on this installment of Ready… Set… DATE!

Have you been in this situation? How did you handle it and what happened? Please share your experience!

For more information on Dateologist Tracey Steinberg, please visit http://www.traceysteinberg.com!

1FineVideo- Is Your Date Generous to Others?

Is your date interested in giving back to the community? Do they like to join you when participating in volunteer activities? If the answer is “no”, and giving back is important to you, you need to watch this video! Dateologist Tracey Steinberg and I tackle this question on this installment of Ready… Set… DATE!

Have you been in this situation? How did you handle it and what happened? Please share your experience!

For more information on Dateologist Tracey Steinberg, please visit http://www.traceysteinberg.com!

1FineVideo- How to Get a Date!

You see someone cute… do you initiate a conversation, or do you just continue admiring from afar? Dateologist Tracey Steinberg and I tackle this question on this week’s Ready… Set… DATE!

Have you been in this situation? How did you handle it and what happened? Please share your experience!

For more information on Dateologist Tracey Steinberg, please visit http://www.traceysteinberg.com!