With the clock ticking on my migration North, I decided to take a pass any dating opportunities in the Peach State. Instead, I placed my attention on meeting New York men through an online social app. It worked, exceeding my expectations as I my profile was getting a lot of traction.

One of the standout responses was Dr. Tony. Tony was a Texan working in Manhattan. He told me that he stayed North after completing his residency. I asked his specialty, and he hesitated in telling me.

“Usually when I tell men what I do, I am ridiculed,” said Tony. I responded with “You accomplished medical school and a residency and have a practice- what’s to ridicule?” Secretly I hoped that maybe he was a dermatologist that carried some filler and Botox with him at all times, which could be a real hit with my friends.

“I’m an OBGYN. I deliver babies and deal with women’s’ health.”

I told Tony that I know tons of women and that it’s important to keep them healthy. I saw no problem with his profession. Being a gay gynecologist was so not the red flag.

The red flag was that he was 45 years old and never had a serious relationship.

Scheduling our date became a bit of an issue. He was always busy with a calendar that was jammed packed. One night didn’t work because he was giving a lecture in Boston. Another night didn’t work because he had a fundraiser dinner to attend. We finally agreed on a Friday in December to meet for drinks. I received the call at 4pm that day, telling me that he had an emergency delivery and would most likely not make it. He wanted to reschedule for a late drink the next day. Of course I understood, and made a joke that we’d never forget our first date- December 7^th.

Perhaps a date that will live in infamy?

I had a dinner obligation prior, and met Tony for that much anticipated nightcap. He was even more handsome than his profile picture. This OBGYN was a great conversationalist, very charming, and again… exceptionally handsome. At the end of our date, he asked for a second date. Without hesitation I said yes. He said he’d call me in the morning and we’d schedule it.

Like clockwork, Tony called the next morning. This is where the fun started. After looking at his schedule and mine, his availability for our second date was…. January 11^th. Seriously, January 11^th. We scheduled the second date, but I suggested that if either of us had any cancellations of activity to call and let’s move our second date up.

My mother always said that getting in to see the Gynecologist takes an appointment made months in advance.  Never thought I’d learn this firsthand.

We texted and spoke a few times during the holiday season. It was really nice and a lot of fun getting to know Tony. What was not so fun was that he postponed the second date… twice. I reiterated to Tony that I thought he was a groovy guy, but he needed to re-evaluate his desire to have a relationship because if he truly wants one, he needs to make the time necessary to cultivate it.

1Gr8Lesson

As you embark on your dating mission, you are bound to meet a Dr. Tony. His intentions are honest- he sincerely wants to date someone and hopes to have a relationship. The challenge for the Dr. Tonys out there is that they don’t know how to make room for someone else in their lives. Making sure that your date has the desired intention to integrate a new person into his life and integrate himself/herself into yours is paramount. Remember the red flag I saw at the beginning? This was the reason Dr. Tony had never had a relationship in his adult life. Granted, being a physician takes dedication and a lot of hard work. But, there are plenty of physicians, attorneys and others in high-pressured careers that enjoy successful and meaningful relationships. I really hope Tony figures out the balance because I know he’s tired of coming home to an empty apartment.   Because it was 1FineD8, I left the door open- let’s see what happens!