We all have takeaways from our previous relationships. If you think about it, I’m confident you can find at least one positive thing your Ex has given you. For me, my first Ex facilitated my having the best brownie recipe known to man. My second taught me a love for dachshunds so intense that I would most likely never own any other breed. My last Ex gave me something a little less personal, but oh, so important. He taught me the necessity to load every single news App to my iPhone, and allow them to send me breaking news updates.
One such update came across while I was teaching a Spin class on a Friday night. After class, I looked at the message- all NJ Transit Trains are subject to 90-minute delays.
I could either spend at least 90-minutes in Penn Station… or I could go for a drink…
I opted for a drink, and took the subway uptown to the perfect after work hangout. Upon ordering a beer, I immediately became part of a conversation about dogs and back surgery (been there/done that with my dachshund, Thalheimer). Seems one of the guys at the bar has a dog that had surgery the day before. As we discussed everything from post-op care to the necessity of liver treats, a third man joined the conversation.
Enter the Accidental Single Guy… and hot dog, he was cute!
We continued the conversation, and a couple more men entered the dialogue. At that point, this newfound man and I splintered off the dachshund talk and began our own conversation. He said that he was in the neighborhood for a meeting that cancelled, which was the only reason he popped in for a drink. One topic led to another, and then to another… and then to “What do you say we get out of here and grab dinner?”
It was over dinner that I had to keep reminding myself one important thing about this accidental date… it’s a guy I met in real time.
My accidental date has never seen my online dating profile, and I’ve never seen his (if he even has one). The base line of common knowledge was at zero, so we had to start from scratch. It was fun and rather “retro” to be learning about someone in person as opposed to online. In doing so, I realized that old school dating was totally refreshing. Not knowing anything about my date and learning things about him was exciting, almost like Columbus discovering the New World.
After dinner, my accidental date and I exchanged numbers and email addresses. We used them, and my accidental date morphed into an intentional one. Who knows what will develop; at this stage in the game it’s too early to tell.
But it’s not too soon to know that some accidents have the most pleasurable outcome.
Sometimes we get caught up with being online. How can we not? It’s super easy, and there’s a fun rush you get with each “beep” notification that someone on Match or JDate is interested. The ease and the rush can take over, and you find yourself attached to your iPhone and detached from the world around you. Perhaps it’s time to give your texting fingers a break and put your voice to work in the real world.
My Accidental Date motivated me to take an unexpected summer holiday. I’m taking a vacation from online dating.
Vacations are all about experiencing something new, something fresh, and in this case something a bit retro. Taking a summer sojourn from online dating will take me out of the comfort zone and force me to cultivate dates the old fashioned way.
Cancelling my online subscriptions was painless, and the best part is that if I decide to go back online, my profiles are saved and ready for any tweaking before reactivation. Now for the not so easy part… how to cultivate those prospective dates.
Here’s a short list of ideas to pursue to get your retro dating vacation started:
- Tell your friends that you’re available for a fun fix-up. They know you, and they know other singles or people that do. Who knows? Not every friend is a good matchmaker, but you may just strike it lucky.
- Put your smart phone on mute and go out! Don’t even think of touching your phone while you’re in that bar, lounge or restaurant!
- Take a look at some activities in your community that you enjoy doing. From concerts to art exhibits to baseball games, you’ll have fun doing something you like while putting yourself in a place where you might meet someone single with similar interests.
Come on! Join me on my vacation!
There’s nothing to lose by taking a break from online dating. Like all vacations, Retro-Dating may give you a day that is sunny and perfect and another where it’s a little overcast and drizzly. But can’t you say the same for online dating? Giving your online profile a break and your real-time personality a time to shine might just get you the best vacation souvenir yet… you might just score 1FineD8!