Kindly check out my latest article on SW Experts! Have you ever considered being part of a throuple? If twice is nice, then what happens if your relationship involves three? Here are four must-knows before you buy two Valentines!
What are your thoughts on being in a polyamorous relationship? Let me know!
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1FineD8... confessions of an accidental single guy 
Great article enjoyed the read, well done
Thanks Jon! Happy you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it for SW Experts!
Hi. So here I am at 45 year old gay man that has been in a threesome relationship for 5 years. To say, I came out very late…39 1/2 to be extract and to give perspective of my only real long relationship. I have been very happy with my relationship with my two other men. To give some background, these two individuals have been dating for 25 years which prior to my encounter with them, they had another throuple for 11 years. Wow right! I thought so too. Now, I have for some time tried to communicate to my lovers that I want to move our relationship to the next level. What does this mean? Well, I live by myself and sleep in my own house usually during the week and I am with them during the week-ends. They have been living together for almost all their relationship. So I have asked for us to move in together. This means me moving out as well as them out of their house. I have suggested looking for a rental that fits all of our needs and try out this adventure. I feel it is important for all of us to “see” if we can make it. This will also allow us to truly open up and share much more then what we have already shared. I have communicated this to them several times but formally by a letter. We spoke about it but nothing really came out of it.
I am writing because I’m am very interested in others opinions about how i should move forward. Or how I could communicate better with them. It seems that they are so set in their own way and their own securities that I feel they don’t want to change the status qua.. They say they love me. It funny from all the arucles I read they all say the same thing. It’s about love, but I feel that there is more then just love. I feel there has to be security and trust with all these.
I’m just frustrated because I don’t want to leave them as they are great and I do love them, but let’s face it, I’m not getting any younger, I feel I need more out of our relationship and their communication skills are awful. Please advice
Hey Fritz!
Thanks for writing, and I’m sorry you’re finding yourself in this situation. There comes a time in all relationships- be it a couple or a throuple- that one of the “team” wants to take the relationship to the next level. It’s wonderful when all parties agree, but can be tedious when one for whatever reason is hesitant. As for the communicating part, by speaking to them and writing them a letter, I’d say you conveyed your message clearly and accurately. You’ve made your point, and they seem to have responded… not in a way that you hoped.
I suggest asking yourself if the status quo of your relationship will make you happy on a long term level. Seeing that you’re happy now is fantastic, but it’s the future that seems to be of concern. If your partners are not willing you take your relationship to the next level, it leaves you with two choices. First is to enjoy the relationship as is knowing that it has plateaued regarding commitment. Or second, which is to part ways with your partners and find a man/men that sparks the same desire to take the relationship up a notch.
It’s a difficult place to be in Fritz, and it’s not an easy decision. It boils down to which brings you more joy- what you have now or a relationship at a different level with someone new. It’s not easy, but deep down you know what is going to bring you happiness long term.
Please keep me posted, and best of luck!
Craig