We’ve all been there… we have a 1FineD8, and we aren’t sure of the proper time frame to ask for the second date. If you’ve wondered when to ask for that second date, you need to watch this video! Dateologist Tracey Steinberg and I tackle this question on this installment of Ready… Set… DATE!
Who’s advice works best for you… Tracey’s or mine! Let us know and please share your experience!
In the immortal almost words of Ke$ha, “It’s going down… I’m now on Tinder!”
I’m no stranger to online dating, and like most I’m no stranger to the potential disappointment that online sourcing of dates may bring. From JDate to Match.com, online dating is a pretty acceptable way to put you out there. When I mentioned Tinder to friends, their reaction was very different to my other online efforts. The general consensus is that Tinder is just a hook-up site. I believe that ANY online dating site can be a hook-up site… if that’s what you’re seeking. My approach to Tinder is the same as my approach on other sites- to find quality people to date.
The bottom line to Tinder or any other online relationship-sourcing site is that although it’s a tool to get into the game, the playing field is an actual date.
One of my Tinder matches was Gerald. His profile pictures were great, and the texting was, in the exact words of my pal Dateologist Tracey Steinberg, “fun and flirty”. We decided to get together after the holidays, seeing that both of us were pretty busy. The Saturday after the New Year was the perfect time to meet for a coffee.
When Gerald arrived, I was very pleased that his profile pictures were obviously current. He was a great looking man with a very nice smile. As we waited in line, Gerald and I inspected the baked goods in the Starbuck’s case.
“Anything look good to you?” I asked.
“I always go for the vanilla scone,” he responded.
“Never tried that before. I’m eying the chocolate covered graham crackers.”
“You should give the vanilla scone a try.”
I ordered the vanilla scone and my usual Venti bold, and we grabbed a table. As we started our conversation, I couldn’t help but notice that Gerald seemed to be a bit reserved. Friendly yes, but definitely on the quiet side. As the conversation continued, I realized that Gerald was extremely introverted. Being introverted is fine, but it’s sort of like a magnifying glass that makes my own extroversion seem even bigger.
As I ate my vanilla scone, I thought that maybe Gerald had a case of the first date nerves. As a potential antidote, I started asking him questions about what he likes to do in his spare time.
Typically, when talking about pets or hobbies or other things that jazz you results in letting go of the conversational trepidation, removing the barrier potentially caused by first date nerves.
The result? It worked. Gerald told me about making smoothies with kale, puppy sitting for a friend, and that he enjoys meditational retreats. The thing that scared me was that his vocal inflection never raised, nor did his level of enthusiasm. Gerald was flatter than a Flat Stanley. Perhaps he thought our date was a meditational retreat is what I thought to myself as I polished off my vanilla scone. Eating the scone kept me awake during an exchange that was dryer than the Sahara.
Ke$ha’s lyric of “One more shot, another round. End of the night, it’s going down” didn’t apply to my date with Gerald. I didn’t want a refill of coffee, and I had my fill of vanilla. The scone was actually tasty, but it didn’t have the melt in your mouth chocolate savor of the graham crackers. Nothing was going down with Gerald. As I said goodbye to him, I thought to myself that my dating life is really no different than my hunger for sweets. I crave something with a bit more of a punch.
1Gr8Lesson
Regardless of your choice of “service provider”, online dating has some pitfalls. As you begin communicating with someone via text, you may feel a connection with the person. However you need to ask yourself… is the connection real?
If you are feeling the groove with an online match, take the communication from texting online to getting on line for a coffee at Starbucks.
The dialogue you share via texting is a great start, however nothing beats a face-to-face meeting. An actual date will allow you to add not only their voice to their words, but also their expressions and level of enthusiasm. You’ll be able to experience your date’s laugh, and the sparkle in their eyes.
Or perhaps not… as in my date with the Vanilla Scone. That’s why it’s important to take if off the computer screen to into a first date venue sooner than later. Don’t lose site of the mission- it’s about making a connection on a date, not on your screen.
Have you found yourself in the situation where your date is not so nice to others? Maybe it’s to a store clerk, or a waiter… or perhaps your friend. If your answer is “yes”, you need to watch this video! Dateologist Tracey Steinberg and I tackle this question on this installment of Ready… Set… DATE!
Have you been in this situation? How did you handle it and what happened? Please share your experience!
You see someone cute… do you initiate a conversation, or do you just continue admiring from afar? Dateologist Tracey Steinberg and I tackle this question on this week’s Ready… Set… DATE!
Have you been in this situation? How did you handle it and what happened? Please share your experience!
Being single in a Winter Wonderland can be an interesting experience for us in the dating scene. With the hustle of the holiday season, most of us get caught up with attending and preparing holiday dinners, parties and other outings with friends and family. As a Dater, it’s easy to neglect our dating opportunities with “December Distractions”.
As Daters, we can’t afford to miss an opportunity for what could be an amazing HoliDate!
Turning that Winter Wonderland to a Wonderful HoliDate is actually a very simple thing to accomplish, and the week between Christmas and New Year’s is the perfect time to get into the HoliDating scene. Take my city, for example. There are so many things to do in New York, and with the backdrop of holiday decorations and excitement, the spirit of the season will provide a backdrop to 1FineD8.
Here’s a look at my top ten HoliDate ideas:
• Turn up the heat with some hot chocolate in a romantic setting. Enjoying a hot chocolate or a coffee drink makes for a warm and tasty first date! One of my faves is Knave at Le Parker Meridien Hotel. You’re the boss when it comes to the milk to chocolate ratio, making your hot chocolate a one-of-a-kind specialized creation. For more information visit http://www.parkermeridien.com/eat/knave/
Knave provides the perfect backdrop for 1FineHotChocolate!
• Be on the top of the world with the City at your feet! Nothing beats a rooftop bar, especially when it’s heated! Check out the specialty drinks and the view from the rooftop of the Peninsula Hotel. Great cocktails, and a view of the Fifth Avenue Snowflake that is unparalleled! For more information visit http://newyork.peninsula.com/en/fine-dining/salon-de-ning-rooftop-bar
Birds eye view of the Unicef Snowflake, thanks to the Peninsula!
• Shopping and Skating and Snacks…. Oh My! Put the “S” in spectacular when you have a HoliDate at the Bryant Park Bank of America Winter Village. You and your date can do some fun shopping (stores close 4 January- hurry!) and take a whirl on the skating rink. Grabbing a snack at Celsius is the cherry on the sundae of this 1FineD8! For more information visit http://www.bryantpark.org/things-to-do/wintervillage.html
Fashion Week or not, nothing is more stylish than Bryant Park.
• Taking in the holiday themed department store windows is picture perfect! Nothing says holiday like seeing the windows of New York department stores. I suggest meeting your date at Macy’s Broadway entrance, and from there head to Lord and Taylor. Walk uptown on Fifth Avenue, taking in all the store windows, and make a right after visiting Bergdorf Goodman. Head East, starting with Barney’s and ending with Bloomingdales. It’s great cardio, and the walk will give you plenty of time for conversation!
Take in the excitement of the holiday exterior of Saks Fifth Avenue.
• Keep warm with something… chilly. You’re already on the East Side from your Window Walk, so why not enjoy a famous Frozen Hot Chocolate at Serendipity! Of course, it’s romantic to share, but I always want my date to know the real me…. which is why ordering two is mandatory! For more information visit http://www.serendipity3.com/
A Frozen Hot Chocolate can be shared, but why when you can order two!
• Welcome aboard the Love Boat, 2.0. A cruise around Manhattan with that special someone can be a fantastic experience. From dinner cruises to rides with Carolers, there are many options, including New Year’s Eve! Check out the website below for the perfect sailing! For more information visit http://www.sail-nyc.com/NYC-Holiday-Cruise
Views of Manhattan are amazing from the Hudson River!
• Sometimes you just need a fireside hamburger! When I first moved to New York, one of my first dates as a new New Yorker was at Molly’s. This Third Avenue mainstay makes one of the best burgers in Manhattan, and the fireplace is romantic as all get-out! For more information visit http://www.mollysshebeen.com/
• All you need is Love, Actually. There are lots of holiday movies from which to choose, but nothing really hits the heartstrings like Love, Actually. Enjoying this flick with your special someone before or after Christmas can make for one romantic date, especially if you include a little couch cuddling! When cuddling, all the cool kids are going undercover with Berkshire Blankets. Give one a try! For more information visit http://www.berkshireblanket.com
Keep your date under wraps with a warm and cozy blanket!
• A little game playing can be a good thing. If you and your date are college football fans, you know that the fun begins on New Year’s Day. Need to find the perfect place to watch the Sugar Bowl? Try the SportChaser.com app! This new app will tell you the options available for watching your favorite games, be it college football in January or baseball in April. For more information visit http://www.sportchaser.com
Plan a date that will leave your date cheering!
• Workout dates? No Sweat! Start those New Year’s fitness resolutions with a partner in crime! 24 Hour Fitness makes getting a guest pass super easy with just one visit to their website. You can do your own thing, or take a Group Fitness class together. With three locations in Manhattan from which to choose, you can pick the perfect place for a hot date without bother. For more information visit http://24hourfitness.com
24 Hour Fitness in Soho
Regardless of your home base, you can easily take inspiration from these ideas and apply them to your location. Every city has hot chocolate, all towns have cool burger joints, and ice-skating is pretty universal. One thing’s for sure… if you take advantage of the fun vibe and the excitement in the air, you’re one step closer to ending 2014 with a bang-up date!
1FineD8... confessions of an accidental single guy 